Relationships, Red Flags, and Recovery

A Look at Codependency

Codependency is an unhealthy and often detrimental relationship dynamic where one person, often referred to as the "giver," neglects their own important needs and well-being in order to support and cater to the other person, known as the "taker." This pattern can manifest in various types of relationships, including those between parents and children, friends, or even extended family members. The term "codependency" was originally brought up in the context of discussions surrounding addiction but has since evolved to describe any relationship characterized by significant imbalance and dependency. Individuals who find themselves in codependent relationships frequently come from troubled family backgrounds, having been exposed to addiction, mental health issues, or various forms of childhood trauma that contribute to persistent anxiety in their interpersonal relationships.

In these unhealthy dynamics, the "giver" often feels an overwhelming sense of responsibility for the well-being of the "taker," frequently making excuses for their behavior and taking on additional household chores or emotional labor. Givers are commonly self-critical, perpetually seeking external validation through their acts of service and consistently prioritizing the needs, wants, and desires of others over their own personal needs. They tend to struggle with low self-esteem, have difficulty setting healthy boundaries, and often find it challenging to ask for help from others when they are in need. On the other hand, "takers" generally face significant personal challenges, such as emotional immaturity, ongoing mental health struggles, and issues related to addiction, which further complicate these already troubled relationships.